Wednesday, October 15, 2008

the first anniversary

Well, the one year wedding anniversary is behind us, but another is approaching: One year since I inquired about this job. I have an email dating 11/27/07, the day I received the full job description for Missions Associate at Christ United Methodist Church. One year since my prayer time was lengthened, and my stomach in knots over the decision at hand. One year since I began imagining (sadly) my life without Court Street. One year since I began preparing myself to say goodbye to Hattiesburg.

One year goes by so fast.

We sat in front of Andrew Peterson last night, listening to him share stories of newness and resurrection; He [God] really does make all things new. Gives us new songs to sing, new cities in which to call home, new friends to take care of (and to be taken care of by them).... all of these make up the new seasons of life.

I am amazed at the spoiled, selfish girl I can be. Some days it's all I can do to not imagine myself anywhere but here. The mountains of North Carolina. A home with Matt and Aislinn. Or even no place to call home but a travel trailer, guitar, and the open road with Jeff, Matthew, and Brian. Other days I am so sure that this season in Memphis is full and good and purposeful. Does everyone else find themselves feeling this way, that I somehow "deserve" to live in the mountains or something? What of those who are trapped in lives of abuse and poverty and misery? Or do I imagine their lives are misery? Have they discovered an even deeper understanding of fullness because of their circumstances?

This is just my stream of thoughts.

I was driving to Tupelo last night, and though we may not have the Autumn that other places do, our trees are in fact looking lovlier by the day as they change colors. Slowly but surely, just as our lives change.

There must be death in order to be life.

The seasons must change.

The jobs must end, and another begin.

He did not even spare himself.

Yes, there must be death in order to be life.

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