Phew. It's been too long.

You know what I am doing right now? Taking a PERSONAL DAY. See, we leave for the Maytide Makers Conference (aka, 10 friends who are artists and who want to praise the Name through their songs, photographs, music, etc. and are spending a weekend together to do just that.) and we are leaving around noon-ish. But I just really have a lot do this morning before we go, include rescuing my guitar out of someone's house (would be nice to have for the weekend, eh?) before noon.... ish.

The Garden. Wow, who knew gardening was so fun? It's such hard work--weeding, tending, adding dirt to the barren spots--but it's so much fun. And you feel great when you come in after 3 hours in the garden. I'll have to take a picture to show you, but we've got a strawberry plant smack-dab in the middle of our flower bed by the front porch. While digging up this bed, we found a little green army man (you know the ones I'm talking about, the ones whose feet are connected to you can stand them up) and now, he guards the strawberry plant (which by the way, already has 3-4 little strawberries! It's delightful. 

Summer. I'm only going to see Jeff 31 days from now until July 31st. Sucks, right? Yeah, I miss him. He's in Mobile, AL seeing his folks right now, and I leave today so I won't see him until Monday evening.

I don't usually just give updates, partially because I don't think anyone reads this, and partially because I usually blog when I've had some spiritual awakening or am feeling deep about some other topic. But here you go- a regular ol' update. And that's not even the half of it.

Memphis is unique. And so are our lives. This season... mmmm, there could never be another one quite like it.

go and love and serve, friends...

pineapple and living room prayer

Who knew that fresh cut pineapple was so much better than the stuff out of the can? You know, the stuff they served in the cafeteria when you were in school? Jeff seemed to think that I should have known that this would be true, as all fresh things are better than canned ones, but you just can't imagine how much better until you bite into that juicy goodness called fresh fruit. I'm sitting here right now, eating my pineapple while Jeff eats his chicken strips and Neha is trying to decide whether to eat the vinegar-y bean salad or Jeff's leftover General Tso's chicken from lunch at A-Tan. We're quite an eclectic bunch around here. :)

But just before the pineapple...

There was some praying going on in our living room. In fact, there's been quite a bit of praying going on, and it fills this house with a peace; I like it. Michelle, Neha, and I are meeting together once a week, reading Celebration of Discipline (Richard Foster) together and praying together. It's so good to pray with others... to be in each other's lives, and watch each other live the Light in our daily lives (or try our best) and then come together recognizing the Presence of God together and communing together.

Foster's writing is really beautiful. I'd already read Freedom of Simplicity by him, and it was so wonderful, and I'd always heard that Celebration of Discipline was really good. It is, and he's got me thinking a lot about discipline, or lack thereof, in my own life.

Last night I collapsed in bed frustrated and worn out. I'm busy, so busy that I find myself not having enough time to be a neighbor and spend time in solitude and be outside on the porch and hanging out with the families I've made friends with in the neighborhood. And being involved in a lot can't be bad--I don't want to be idle. But that's never been an issue for me.. instead I'm overwhelmed.

Prayers for the peace of Christ and stillness of his presence are needed.

Grace and peace be yours...

I've been meaning to blog a lot lately, but this week has been crazy. Tomorrow we enter into a weekend-long time of learning what is God's heart for our brothers and sisters who are poor and oppressed, both here in Memphis and around the world. We'll lead others from Christ United Methodist through some decision-making and tough conversations as they will likely be outside of their comfort zone much of the weekend. Won't I even be outside of mine? Do I know what it means to go without food and a shower?

We by no means proclaim that this weekend we will "arrive," that we'll know what it means to live a life of poverty. We are fully aware that we aren't even scratching the surface. But we do know that in our white, affluent church, we must start somewhere. We must walk these friends by the hand, a little closer to the heart of the matter.

My friend and brother Matthew said, "Reconciliation can only happen when we submit to the fact that we are all equally valuable in the eyes of God." And so it is. This is why we are going this weekend; this is why we are stretching ourselves... not to be saviors, not to put ourselves in a place of status above those who are "poor," but to know our brothers and sisters who the world says we cannot be in communion with because we are too different, who we are taught to ignore and cast off. From the same Family we came, and Christ came to save us all. We must see the eyes of Christ in each other!

Pray for us as we come together...

Until Sunday..

houseguests, galore!

It's true; we love to have people in our home. And not just the occasional dinner. Yes, we're a bit obsessed. In fact, for the past two weeks we've had 5 different people stay over night (Matthew - 3 nights, Jay - 2 nights, Clifton - 1 night, Amy & Tracy - 4 nights) plus several dinners mixed in there (chicken enchiladas, black bean curry), and 9 college kids sitting in our living room floor asking us about our lives here in Memphis. There's been lots of dance-partying, dish-washing, laughing, coffee-making, special K bar-eating, and onion-growing (more to come on that.)

And we (Jeff and I) crash in bed every night and say, "How did we get this good life?" These folks are gifts from God. There's so much beauty breezing in and out of our doorway, that I can hardly keep up. What we learn from others, what we get to share with them-- Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! that was a scream of delight.

Onions.

So the Pates/Forlines/Kizzee/Walkley Neighborhood Garden is officially underway. She's been tilled, and the indoor seeds have been planted now for 2 weeks (onions, mini-bell peppers, and tomatoes.) They've all sprouted, particularly the onions (which are at my house). They're growing so quickly... I'm so proud. :) It's a lot of work from the seed up... watering them once or twice a day, keeping them fairly warm, putting in the sun for a few hours a day, making sure they're draining, keeping them under a lamp for warmth, etc. Phew! But when those little guys began to peek through the soil... man, oh, man I was one happy mama! Maybe I'm just going to raise vegetables instead of children for the rest of my life? :)

The potatoes go in the ground either this weekend or next weekend, which I'm COMPLETELY PUMPED about. I love potatoes. My grandma used to call me a potato head, and it's totally true. I think I could have them for every meal!

More to come on the garden... and the house parties.

If you're in town, we're playing music (Matthew Clark, Jeff, and me) at Christ Methodist (4488 Poplar Ave., 38117) tonight, 7pm! Fun times lie ahead...

Grace and peace, Family..

Daffodils... the bravest of flowers. At least 2 weeks ago, we noticed a little patch of daffodils growing next to our broken sidewalk. They're not strategically placed or growing in a neat sort of way, they are just there - bold and beautiful in all their splendor of yellow and green!

Then it snowed, 3 inches in our front yard, we are sure. Winter snuck up on us again, despite our glowing smiles as we saw Spring approaching with all the 60 and 70 degree days we'd been having. Then the snow, which might I add, actually stuck around for a few days!

But as the snow melted away and the ground underneath made its reappearance, we stepped out onto our porch only to notice our yellow and green, proudly welcoming the warmer days to follow. They made it; they survived! Our daffodils - so strong and brave. And they're everywhere, all over Memphis it seems! I don't know much about daffodils. Do they grow wild? Did some seed happen to fall there at one time? I seem to find them in odd places all over the city.

At our house, as I said in earlier in the post, they are next to our broken sidewalk, which says something meaningful to me. They're adding such beauty to what seems kind of sad and in need of repairs, not unlike Jesus; not unlike how we are to be living as followers of his Way.

Daffodils... making beautiful what is broken. I feel today like we should be like these daffodils. Coming out and braving the world, even when it seems to be against us. Risking life for the cold. Choosing to bloom where it's planted (or wherever it happens to fall), favoring the broken and forgotten places where people need to see beauty the most.

Christ in us is at work. Let's make beautiful what is broken.

Jesus at the Bus Stop

There's a woman sitting out at the bus stop, and she's been there for more than 24 hours. Sometimes sleeping, sometimes walking, but always there, at the bus stop. And it's cold and rainy today. But can we see the stranger and invite her in? Is there room in our home where 4 poeple are already dwelling, with more soon to come tomorrow night and through the weekend?

I've been dwelling on it all day.

Then I found this a few moments ago....

"In Louisville, at the corner of Fourth and Walnut, in the center of the shopping district, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that I loved all these people, that they were mine and I theirs, that we could not be alien to one another even though we were total strangers. It was like waking from a dream of separateness...I have the immense joy of being man, a member of a race in which God Himself became incarnate..." [from the Diaries of Thomas Merton]

Last week, while visiting Duke, I think this happened to me... I think I awoke from a dream of separateness. I walked around with tears at the edge of my eyelids all week, wanting to burst out in smile, maybe even take someone aside and stare through their eyes and find the beauty. Although almost everyone who passed me was cold and disconnected, as we seem to be so accustomed to portraying ourselves, I felt overcome, like somehow my soul was seeing through them, to something that I don't recognize with my human eyes, but Christ in me certainly did recognize it. It's still happening, even today, this overwhelming awakeness...

I hope I never fall back asleep. Keep waking...

Underneath the surface of it all
is the aching for the trumpet call
when we cannot feel the weight of all the we have sown...
[when will He shine light on all that hides?]
(a. pates, m. clark)

my big house makes me feel good

the lies we believe. I'm watching PBS (which I just really love), and right now I'm watching a show that highlights big A houses, with their custom made doors and cabinets, granite countertops, grand winding staircases, and MUCH, MUCH MORE! So much money spent on this grand space, a space that doesn't even feel lived in or cozy. But it's a status symbol isn't it? These folks are now on TV, even if it just local. And their friends can come over and "Ooooo" and "Aaaaaahhh" at their home, further affirming them that they are people of worth because their house is so huge and pretty and fancy. Do we really believe these lies?

__________________________

I'm going to Durham, NC on Tuesday, to spend some time with Aislinn and Matt. It feeds my independent self that sometimes wants to get out and being able to fly alone is one the ways I feel the most independent. Don't get me wrong, I'm not so independent that I can't work with other folks. I know that would mean death to my marriage (and defeats the purpose of the Family of God), I'm just not going to lie that when I get to do something solo sometimes, I kind of like it.

__________________________

I'm not saying a big house is wrong. When we fill it with friends and family and have people around our dinner table. When we open the extra room for the stranger, then we might need that big house to serve and love people best. what I am saying is this...

Don't believe it. Your fancy house just gives you an expensive padding for your bottom and a silver spoon in your mouth and might even make it harder to follow the Christ whose life oozed with simplicity.

Lord have mercy on our lifestyles and the ways we seek the world to affirm us.

Lord have mercy; Christ have mercy.