Wednesday, August 20, 2008
just give me room to breathe...
sometimes it feels like suffocating, this place that I am in. Reading Josh's blog earlier I longed for the space to question and speak frustrations and joys and doubts; room to be who I am, while still exploring who I'm becoming; a place to laugh and wiggle and not always be so sure about everything, to not have everything figured out; room to breathe. I think most of us long for that; I do every day in this season of my life.
working in the church is good and important and hard. what an important and often trying place! the lessons I am learning... they are valuable and timely. but oh how sometimes it feels hard to breathe.
but I am reminded just now that my brothers and sisters here do give me that, Ashok and Neha give me that space, Matthew gives me that space. Thank you for that, my dear family. But I still feel suffocation some days, a sense of out-of-place-ness.
I don't think my mind and heart and gifts were built for strategies and plans and business models; my heart and mind seem to be all over the place most of the time, and I like it that way.
I miss you, brothers and sisters who give me room. At this moment, I'm thankful the dinner tables and firesides that have let me breathe freely, and I long for them once again.
room to breathe; I need room to breathe.