But I understand the way a new year can cause you to re-evaluate the bigger picture. There's also something about a new decade that can push you into introspective-ness (is that even legal? to use that word?)
I've been thinking about friendships... how some of them are ending; some, just beginning. I will willingly let go of the ones whose season is behind us, and spend time listening to the stories of the people who are just entering my life. I will stop thinking that so many people need me to do for them, that their worlds will crumble without me. I will stop filling my schedule with so many good things and good people that the ones who really need my attention don't feel connected to me like they should. I'll stop killing myself to stay connected to those whose season in my life ended long ago; I'll admit that it is time... it is time.
As my grandfather slips away, I've mostly said goodbye, without actually saying it. I've taken a brief moment to care for him (yet nothing like my family whose been present so much more than me); I've finally seen him vulnerable and extended a nurturing hand. And it was enough.
In all this, I've summed it up like this...
I'll graciously say goodbye.