Perhaps it is of no surprise to you, but this I've found to be true: we mostly come to friendship on our own terms.
But what about those, "Hey! You too?!" moments, where you suddenly discover the spark of your friendship. Your iPod (or CD player for us old schoolers) has 75% of the same music; you dream of living in all the same places; and you are addicted to the Office and that new show, Parenthood.
I do love these friendships! How, then, could this springing up of friendship be "on our own terms" if we didn't even plan it?
We're drawn to people with the same interests, the same lifestyles. And if not the same, then people who we think are cool, those that we get "friend crushes" on (and I loudly speak for myself here!) I find myself constantly saying, "She is very cool. I must know her."
But with whom should we be seeking friendship? Those like us? Those on the margins of society? Those who might need us for our transportation, checkbook, and listening ear? Those who keep us away from a dinner with other friends because they need to get the grocery store?
My heart weeps at the friendships I keep on my terms, and my eyes have seen a much truer picture of friendship...
"...and the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself."